Kevin’s Top 10 Games of 2012

top10

If I had a website where I could inform people what my favorite games of the year were, I would totally do it. Not only will I get to voice my opinion, other people will get to read it, and then proceed to judge the shit out of it. No, really. I hear the internet is full of these things the kids call “trolls” and they go and comment on your web posts calling you “punk ass pussy, i’d totally butt fuck your corpse in CoD if you played it, noob xD.” Seems like something everyone would enjoy.

For now though, I’ll just compile a list into this Word document and ask one of the nice ladies at my local library to help me post this on the Myspace page I have.

Descending order we go!

Actually, before we start, it is hard as fuck deciding how much more fun a game was over another just to be one slot higher. I have one clear game of the year, but everything else just feels like a second place, not worse than one another, I just knew my favorite game and everything else went in a number that was not one.

I think we’ll start now.

10. Journey

journey-game-screenshot-7

Remember the time you and I played Journey together, but you didn’t know it was me, and I had no idea you were you? Yeah, that is the magic of Journey. Co-op, without the actual ties of co-op. I ended up journeying (I know) around with a fellow I never talked to, but we braved through a chunk of the game together. Then they were separated from me, and I felt lost. This person had gone through so much with me, and we couldn’t even make it to the end together. I hope somewhere out there you’re reading this and you finally get to hear me say this: Thank you.

9. The Darkness II

Darkness 2

If you remember correctly, I shit on this game. I mean, BIG TIME. Then I eventually played it, and loved it, and it became one of my favorite games of the year. The combat is great and the story is pretty damn good. Just remember: THE DARKNESS, JACKIE!
Huh? What’s that? You don’t get that reference because you’ve never played The Darkness II? Well go out and do that right now.

8. Max Payne 3

max-payne-3-trailer-600x360

What happens when you take a depressed alcoholic and set him loose against an entire army of men trying to kill him? You get Max Payne 3. While some people found Max Payne’s constant lack of a fuck tiring, I found him and his story to be one of the most interesting of 2012. Take a man who has nothing to live for, and bring him into an area where all he has to do is protect a rich family, then allow him to fuck that up, making him kill thousands of bad guys in the process, and you’ve got a man who will constantly tell you how much alcohol is practically a life source for him, I love it.

7. Far Cry 3

far cry 3

THEY ATE ME! A FUCKING SHARK ATE ME! It seriously happened. Far Cry 3 is not just another shooter, it’s the next step in the genre. I’ve never had so much fun running around, trying to kill a group of guys only to think I heard a lion next to me and then proceed to get mauled by it.

6. Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale

PSABR

I never thought I would buy this game, but I did, and so did Eric and Michael. We all love it, because it is an extraordinarily fun game which is easy to learn, but hard to master. There is nothing to hate about this game. Except for Sly. Yup, you might really hate Sly.

5. Halo 4

halo-4-cover

I never took the time to write my review of Halo 4, but I enjoyed the game. More than I expected to. Heading into Halo 4 with absolutely no hype, I was not disappointed with how it turned out. 343 Studios did an incredible job from where Bungie left off, and I tip my hat their way. Crap, my hat fell off.

4. Spec Ops: The Line

Spec ops the line

Michael told me to play this game, his review was glowing, and he knew this was a game I needed to experience. Boy was he right. Spec Ops: The Line is nothing short of amazing. The game looks as if it were a mediocre third-person shooter, but it is much, much more than that.

3. Dishonored

Dishonored

I am not usually a fan of sneaking games, but Dishonored made me a believer. I loved every part of this game, so much so, I purchased the DLC just to support them. I appreciate what Arkane Studios did so much. The best part of Dishonored selling well only means Dishonored II will be that much better.

2. Borderlands 2

Borderlands 2

I enjoy Borderlands 2 for many reasons. I will now do a list within a list to further confuse and annoy people who:
A. Hate the breaking of the Space-Time Continuum

B. Hate Having to Read

1. The Co-op is fantastic.

2. Bonerfarts.

3. Great story, with the best villain in a game for 2012. (Best villain for a movie 2012 goes to Osama Bin Laden in Zero Dark Thirty)

4. It’s beautiful.

5. Claptrap.

Borderlands 2 is funny, fun to play, and is one of the most enjoyable experiences you’ll have playing a game.

1. The Walking Dead

walking_dead_console_hq

For the last ten or so months, The Walking Dead took me on an emotional ride. Never has a game hit me with such emotion. Playing as Lee, and protecting Clem became my favorite part of 2012. That little girl will never leave my memory, as she will become one of gamings biggest icons. You should play this game, and keep it close to your heart. Just as I have this year. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be waiting for season two to start.

Honorable Mentions

Persona 4 Golden

World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria

Sound Shapes

Blacklight: Retribution

2012’s 2011 Game of the Year

Catherine

catherine

I have fallen in love with this game. While I finally got to play it this year, our Let’s Play beautifully showcased this game. It is my belief that you should play it yourself, but if you don’t have the patience to, watch our Let’s Play and enjoy Catherine in all its glory. With one of my favorite stories of all time, Catherine is a game to get you hooked until you finally beat it. Oh Catherine, you give me boners which make me question my very existence. What if video games are just peoples real lives we play with? Catherine makes you think about hard hitting shit like that.

There you have it, my top 10 games of 2012. Hopefully you found this easily, I hear people stopped using Myspace quite a while ago and went over to some Facebook site. Whatever, I don’t care, I’m friends with Justin Timberlake. If you liked my list be sure to like Console HQ on Facebook, those losers moved onto there. If you disagree or agree with my list go subscribe to Console HQ on YouTube. I’m pimping their shit cause they pay me to. Actually they don’t pay me, I might need to find a lawyer, anyone have Jack Thompson as a contact?

2 thoughts on “Kevin’s Top 10 Games of 2012

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