Downloadable Content vs. The Magpie Secret!


With all the flack downloadable content (DLC) is getting, I figured someone should write something about it. I waited around a bit, and with a quick Google search, I saw no one has ever stated their opinion about DLC. Except for these people, so I am taking it into my own hands. It’s time for DLC vs. The Magpie Secret!


The Core Game

Have you ever payed $60 for a game, and thought, “Man, this is too much game?” That always happens to me. I purchased that Diablo 3 game, and I ended up playing 100 hours. It was too fucking long! Can you imagine sitting there for that long? Hell no! My ass started to hurt. My eyes dried up and shriveled. I think my pet hamster died. I was playing for far too long, and what would the simple solution be?…


Yes, DLC! How about I pay for access to the game, and then allow me to pay to play more. Something along the lines of me buying a pass that allows me access to the game, and then I pay for the levels. That would be the greatest thing to hit gaming since the online pass.

It would go something along the lines of this:
Welcome to [game] please pay $1 to access the “Press Start” screen.

Choose your experience: [Single-Player] [Multiplayer [Requires $10 Online Pass]

Thanks for choosing [Single-Player] Play Level 1 to completion and get a discount on Level 2 at 50% off.

Because that is how games should be, pay to play, not pay once and enjoy it. That would be stupid.

The League of Legends Model

Riot Games have a good thing going with League of Legends (LoL) and their platform on playing. You can play the game for free, but when it come to getting new champions, you have to dish out that serious $$$ to get that train moving. But I know what you’re saying, Kevin, you can just play and use IP to buy new champions. Well, to that I say, fuck you. Don’t disagree with me, that’s not how the internet works. See, Goddammit, you’ve ruined this paragraph.

Where was I?

[Kevin insert description here]

The Walking Dead and Telltale

Thank the video game lords for a company like Telltale. They’ve been releasing games in an episodic format since the dawn of time. With 2012’s release of The Walking Dead, they made this DLC dream a reality for me. Not only could I buy an episode at a time, it took every episode about two months to come out! Now that is valuetainment!

My Plea

Video game companies, all of you (including you if you still exist by the time this is published,) please continue to add DLC to everyone of your games. Gamers love it, we need it. In fact, if it wasn’t for DLC, Mass Effect 3 wouldn’t have been a good game. Most importantly, Capcom keep up the good work. Your completely expensive costume packs, level packs, image packs, controller mapping packs, character packs, on-disc access packs, pay to view the credits packs, have been a great inspiration to the DLC development process. So, I guess what I’m saying is for every company to be more like Capcom. Yeah, that works.

Keep The Magpie Secret Alive

That is all for today, folks! I hope you enjoyed me speaking to you in text, allowing me to live in your ears. Continue to support The Magpie Secret, and join me (us!) again for another opponent to The Magpie Secret!

Goodbye, all!

HA, that’s twice now, dumbass.

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