Xbox Live vs. The Magpie Secret


How did Xbox Live get sucked into The Magpie Secret? Click to find out!

I Have XBL, Friend Me xXxPu553Y5LaY3R420yoloxXx

I know what you’re saying, and don’t worry, I made that gamertag when I was thirteen. It’s  just 800 Microsoft Points is too much to change my gamertag to PussySlayer. It might also be already taken.

Xbox Live is the online service of the Xbox, if you didn’t already know. Being inhabited by “faggots,” their words not mine. Actually, they really made that point clear. I was a faggot, and they fucked my mom. In fact, my whole team were faggots and they fucked all our moms, and that in the next match we would be butt fucked by them so hard we’d become said faggots. It was really quite eloquent.

What people don’t get is that Xbox Live isn’t all 13 year olds and Call of Duty, it is actually a wonderful place full of friends and happiness.

Msg Me 4 Prestige Lobby

Every time I played Call of Duty (MW2, BLOPS, MW3, BLOPS2) some nice person would invite me to a prestige lobby. All I had to do was provide the person with some Microsoft Points, and we’d be all set. So, of course, wanting to be able to pwn all the noobs, I accepted the trade agreement. Although I never heard back from the guy, I assume my account was all set, I guess that’s one of the perks of being messaged directly by the head of Xbox Live.

Also, this one time a guy on FIFA told me he’d give me a “Cleveland Steamer,” don’t know what that is but I heard it’s hot!






Xbox Live is a terrible place.

In The End

If you can’t handle being called a bitch, get out of the part of the internet which connects you to the Xbox Live servers. Maybe go over to PSN, I hear they take anyone, you bitch.

Disclaimer: I was not payed by Playstation or Sony to write this Magpie Secret. In fact, The Magpie Secret wrote this for me. The Magpie Secret controls all. You. Me. Console HQ. HIDE FROM THE MAGPIE SECRET DON’T LET IT—


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